Neb and Jez in celebrity God-off!
Annoyed at Jezebel's flouting of the arkmate's service, and remembering Neb's indiscretion of a few nights ago, God sent the Ark Angel Gabriel down to set things straight.
"It has come to our attention that some of you may not have been taking this service all that seriously," stated the angel. Jezebel's answer: "Really?"
In view of Jez and Neb's repeated failiure to give God due respect, Gabe challenged the two to a God-off on the main deck. "It's like a face-off, only with deities," he explained.
Reactions from the arkmates were varied. While Paul was itching to see a divine smackdown, Maggie was less sure about the outcome: "Divine Grumpiness makes me nervous," she said.
Meanwhile, John was upset by the whoile idea: "This is wrong!" he was heard to cry out. "THIS IS WRONG! NO TESTS!"
Despite Jezebel's protests of the whole thing being a fix, Gabriel led the others out onto the deck and explained the rules: Jezebel and Neb would each get a chance to prove the power of their Gods (or in Neb's case, his own divine power), by the miraculous draining of the pool.
Jezebel refused even to try, stating that she quite liked the water in the pool, and added, "Gabe, I resent the fact you're using us for a plot twist." Meanwhile, Neb was confused: "What point is God dude trying to make here? That he knows where the plug hole is and I don't?" He made it clear that he wasn't a God involved in plumbing.
Silence fell as God Himself made a showing. "Listen," boomed the Almighty. "Neb and Jezebel have dissed me most mightily. Yea verily they have... and their punishment, which shall extend, yea, even unto the the other nine arkmates, is the loss of the swimming pool for twenty-four hours." As the Arkmates watched, the pool then drained before their eyes.
The arkmates were stunned at this. Jezebel, whose indiscretions brought this on in the first place, faced the loss of the swimming pool with less than equanimity: "NO! PLEASE DON'T TAKE IT AWAY!"
Paul, who had previously been looking forward to this, had also changed his tune: "Why punish us? We've been good. Smite the bad guys."
Esther, on the other hand, respected the Old Testament flavour of the situation: "I think it's kind of cool," she said.
Will this be the end of the Ark's pagan problem? Will the arkmates take this one lying down? Don't bet on it.
Back to Jezebel's homepage