Esther | Diary
During the 40 days and 40 nights of the Ark's voyage, our 12 crew members will be recording their thoughts and feelings about their Arkmates, the tasks and crises they'll be facing, and the dreadful prospect of walking the plank before the Ark reaches Mt Ararat. For Esther's Diary, read on... and click the "comments" links to add your own comments to any of her diary entries.
|safety in pairs||May 30, 10:29|
|I can't believe that it's the final night on the ark...and I'm alone with John. It's a bit eerie, really...the memories of the arkmates inhabiting this entire boat (not to mention large statues and pictures). And John and I alone...
It's quite ironic really. Sometimes we'd barely be able to catch a minute or two of peace by ourselves without the others...and here we are, with plenty of time all alone...
And yet, how will we spend all of tomorrow alone?
However it's spent, there's really no other person on the ark that I'd like to have spent the night alone with (hee, that sounds so bad). Paul was right...I am safe with John...I've always felt safe with him.
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|tune in for..."As The Ark Floats"||May 28, 3:32|
|The stage brings so much enjoyment, I love it when it's set up. I thought that without Jez, nothing would be funny, and although she was greatly missed, today's soap opera was some quality entertainment.
Oh, the idiosyncrasies of us all! And the fact that we know each other's so well! I'm sure we all could have gone on for a lot longer. I know I could have, especially playing Paul.
Hehe. It's good to know that my arkmates think that I'm a bored, stuck-up, little temptress who's in love with John and only cares about having fun.
...some of it's true I guess...
...I definitely WAS bored at times! Especially when we would be confined to the bedrooms for the nominations.
But luckily no more of that.
On a sad note, today the T-Rex died, much to all of our dismay. I will never forget the cute tail-waving dance he did right before he died. He will be missed. but I'm sure not by any of the animals he would have eaten on land.
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|"Mischief at all costs, mischief in spite of all terror, mischief however long and hard the road may be; for without mischief there is no survival."||May 27, 7:12|
No, not the weather....although it doesn't help...
Jez! Where are you? How could you leave me here? Oh, how I wish you were just around the corner...even just hours away...but miles of deep blue sea between us! That, I cannot bear.
But I must. I must make it through these next few days, carry on the torch of mischief and merriment. Otherwise, her jump would have been in vain. And I will! Even if it causes my own planking, I will have fun! And force the others to do so with me!
I will drag Martha out of the kitchen, fling that scrub brush into the sea, and force her to change out of that jumper and into a dress.
I will lock Paul's letters up in those wierd trunks at the bottom of our beds, lock the liquor up in the cabinet, and force him to...eh, I don't really like that idea...I will have John force him to lay out on a deck chair and relax.
I will take John into the bathroom and...
Tee hee. Diary, wouldn't YOU like to know.
Don't worry Jez, I won't let you down.
|The end is near...||May 26, 8:34|
|It's a bit empty aboard the ark these days...
As we approach Mt. Ararat (I swear I saw it from the Crow's Nest before it started raining) I am getting more and more excited about getting off this boat and onto dry land! Although I'll dearly miss sharing a room with six other people (or less now...), our Roman style bathroom complete with buddy Jesus mosaic, the kitchen with no food, the strange washroom, and the most recent addition of the lovely pitching and heaving of the ark...it will be great to be home. I wonder if the King has started planning the banquet yet...
Anyhow, there are a few things I need to do in the next couple of days before leaving...
I've decided to seriously pray and fast (and ask the other arkmates to do so as well) regarding the life of the T-Rex. I don't know if I have enough time, but I'll start tomorrow. I figure the fasting shouldn't be that hard.
And speaking of praying, I'm going to the Crow's Nest tomorrow to see what all this commotion is concerning John and I. Rumours are flying everywhere, and I don't like it. Seems like much ado about nothing. Or at least, that's what John would say.
I really would like Jez to wake up and come play! The mischief level has fallen to a depressing low, and the heckling is almost no more. I need her! If only I could wrench her out of those deep meditations. They kind of scare me anyhow. I hate waking up to those chants and that funky incense.
I would like to make amends with Paul. I try my best to get to be amiable to him, but I just don't quite know how to respond to the wet dress comments. Is there any polite, peaceable way to diffuse those situations?
There is much to do, and time runs short.
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|I just don't understand it...||May 24, 7:06|
|I'm in a bit of a quandry over my friend John. I really don't understand a lot of what goes on under that headband. People talk about me being hot and cold, but really, sometimes John's mood swings leave me spinning.
He moves right from reprimanding me into apologies, the friendly affection he has towards me seems rife with disapproval, and even fear?
I think he knows me best out of all the others, and yet sometimes I feel like he's a complete stranger. He understands me almost too well, yet our converstions are often shrouded in complete confusion.
Like yesterday, for example...I was talking with him in the bathroom...wait...let me back up. I do play with John a bit in my teasing...I'm not sure why. Trying to get a reaction possibly? Seeing how far I can go? Testing the waters perhaps? I don't really know.
So, I was teasting him a bit. But then I was honestly wondering why he seems so worried about appearances sometimes, and yet he was taking a shower with me. So as I brought that up, we got started talking on love and friendship. Now, to clarify, I wasn't specifically talking about John and I. I was just trying to explore why he feels so strongly about love.
I did misquote him a bit, and I apologize for that. Yet, it does seem like John places a much higher value on friendship than he does on love. What would be true love, I wonder? Are marriage and love just hinderances to the kingdom at this point?
We continued our conversation down to the animal room, and again, I didn't think he was upset with me necessarily, I just wanted to find out why he was angry in general. I don't really think I was satisfied with his answer. I still don't understand it. He has reason to be deeply upset. However, the more I read of Jesus, the more I realize that he was also deeply upset at what happened to his cousin. I believe, if he could have, he would have taken his place in a heartbeat...but that had to come later...
Anyhow. I'm still confused about John, and probably will be for the duration of this voyage.
But I'm ok with that.
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|Third time's a charm...?||May 23, 3:16|
|Ha! Nominations...you don't scare ME! I'm such a pro at these, having been my third time and all. (Actually...doesn't make the sting hurt any less, but I am not as black cloud-ish as last time.)
It's been a great voyage so far, and I've learned a lot...laughed a lot. So, if I go tomorrow, I will look back fondly at this big floating tub o' love while I'm swimming my way back to Susa (or to the yacht anchored around the corner). Not that I want to go or anything...but, I will be strong! no matter what happens.
|Romeo and Juliet Smackdown||May 22, 19:10|
|Hm, last night's pages were a bit melodramatic. I think I'm better now. I forgot to write in anything about the events of the day! I woke up yesterday morning with the greatest gift God has ever given me (ok, besides salvation). I suddenly found myself able to fly up in the air, spin around in slow-mo and execute one of the most supafly, hardcore kicks in the whole world I'm convinced. I'm such a badass. Now I can really take Jez and her jerry springer lovin capulet momma's boy wusses DOWnnn. whoa, flashback from my PWWF days (Persian World Wrestling Federation).
Our little production of Romeo and Paul, I mean Juliet, was brilliant. I actually think that Shakespeare would have loved it, with the cross-dressing, multiple nipple references, and some aMAZing fight scenes (thank you thank you). I really like Paul as a girl. He should try that more often. And Samson and John were very convincing as women...almost too convincing...
Martha as Romeo...that was hilarious. I loved it when she killed Tybalt. There's no way in real life THAT would have happened. I mean, Tybalt's outtacontrol crouching tiger spin up into the air and mean punch move thing at the end vs. Martha's um...(cough) very convincing "stab, stab" move. Yeah, Martha would've been on the floor before Samson could pull his sword out (which is fast, I'm sure).
Gabe as the chorus...cute. I think I like his renditions of the plank poetry better though. The sets were fanTAStic though. I love walking into that room and having it be transformed. Loved the deep red curtains and plush red couches. Perfect for heckling from. Joan and Noah really outdid themselves that time. Bravo!
|such sweet sorrow||May 22, 7:40|
|As the rooms of the ark echo with past arkmates, the arrival of nominations again tomorrow makes me very lonely already. I said it myself, I know, it's all part of the game...but it all gets so complicated each day that goes by.
To think that in only a few short days we will be only five...or I will be sailing slowly back to the Palace...
I will miss everyone, despite all our differences...probably because of all of them, really.
I will miss Martha's fussing and fretting, and incredibly good cooking and washing tips (not like I'll really ever use them, but perhaps I'll pass them on to my servants.) Her subtly dry sense of humor and complete practicality is something that I don't often get in my life, but I value it enormously. She is the big sister I never had.
I will undoubtedly miss Paul's attempts at following the strait and narrow in the midst of this crooked world. I have been blessed by his epistles of wisdom, and many lessons have been illuminated on this boat. God's strength in Paul's weakness (strength to keep Paul's thoughts from becoming action), these light and momentary troubles achieving for us an eternal glory off this ark, faith expressing itself through love (although that might be a twisted, stalking-like, lusty love), running the good long race (or riding the ark) with perseverance, and having been predestined according to the plan of Him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of His will (Paul says he didn't write that, but I don't believe him).
Of course, how could I not miss the gentle strength in Samson, who showed us all that chivalry will never die, and neither will his love for Martha...? I will never forget how he would always (well almost always) stand when a woman walked in the room, and how he always tried to protect all of us onboard. It was very much a comfort, reminiscent of many of the eunuchs in my palace. Though their outward signs of manliness had been taken away (not that Sam's have or anything) they exhibited a strength and courage that surpassed all appearances. Sam as well.
And Jez, my favorite little pretty pagan princess...she has made this journey enjoyable. I won't ever forget the light in both our eyes when we start to formulate a mischievous plan, the tears that ran down my eyes many times from the hysterical laughter only she can evoke, or the conversations with God that were much better shared. She, out of all, understands the difficulties of being a queen, the loneliness, the hard decisions, the reputations won or lost.
John...I can hardly describe what I'll miss in him. Let's start with the easy things: his songs, his dances (oh his dancing!), his protests for peace. I will miss the way that he seems to see strait through what everyone else sees and calls out who I am beneath it all. It would have been hard to have sailed any length of time without him. God knew I needed someone like him on this crazy boat. I will miss him most of all. I'm actually thinking about taking him back to the palace with me. Every queen needs a knight or two around...
Maybe I'll be able to enjoy these friends for a bit longer...maybe not. It will be time soon enough to say goodbye, and my thoughts are turning more and more towards home as we get closer and closer to the end. What if Susa has all gone to hell without me? I'm glad that I can't be a part of that world while I'm here. That might be entirely too difficult. Could you imagine if it was all falling to pieces while I was aboard, not being able to do anything about it? Seeing both sides of the coin at the same time...now that I just couldn't handle...
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|May 19, 9:30|
|Well...did you wonder when it would finally happen? When I would SNAP from all the...all the...I don't even know what to call it. Disrespect? Rudeness? Tireless chauvinistic comments? Any and all. Comments about wet dresses, inappropriate gestures, offensive fantasies unfortunately shared with all...I can handle those. I can blatantly ignore the drooling, resort to physical action to protect myself against wandering hands, or heckle them back from the deck chairs with the other object of lust on board. But today, the service must have been the straw that broke the camel's back.
It's quite ironic, if you think about it. The service was on Celebrating Gender. You would think that we could all have emerged from that appreciating the different qualities of God in one another, and in my dreamland, even perhaps patch up some of the relationships in which we had not done that so well. At least could we have possibly ended today with a greater respect for each other? Nope, not a chance.
I don't think I've been that frustrated since the Simon incident. I was apprehensive going into the service, knowing full well that trying to facilitate a discussion on certain verses in the Bible was going to be very difficult. However, I was excited at the possibility. We have yet to have much actual discussion over specific things in the Bible on the Ark thus far. The topic was excellent. The feminine and masculine attributes of God...fascinating! I was very excited to see what everyone had to say.
Some were attentive and participated in the discussion. Some were bored. Some made grade-school jokes over issues (words, even) that were obviously a little too mature for their level.
All in all, I was disappointed, to say the least. But, hey, what's a little letdown now and then. I don't know why I expected more in the first place. I personally liked the rest of the service. Paul's dance was surprisingly honoring and cleverly choreographed. Samson's talk, although I think he had to cut it short due to the attention problems of the group (truly, we are fashioned in the image of God on this ark) was well thought out and interesting.
Maybe I was the only one that was interested in the theme of the service. Maybe next time, we should stick to bathroom images for the sermon. Maybe we should forget bringing the Bible into the picture and heaven forbid! try to discuss it. In fact, next Sunday let's scrap the service entirely and play a game of British Bulldog.
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|inch by inch...nomination by nomination...down and still down it came!||May 18, 7:18|
|Ah the pendulum hisses through the air...and misses! It hasn't come quite close enough to end my time here on the ark, praise the Lord Almighty...or the voting public, whoever they might be.
The relief that floods through my body when my name isn't called really causes a lot of guilt. And what to say when they go? It's quite akward.
But it wasn't me! That is cause for some celebration! At least until Monday...when nominations strike again.
I am really excited about the service tomorrow. I think that the topic is excellent...just what the boat needs. A little gender reconciliation. I hope the arkmates bring some good passages on masculinity and femininity, specifically how they are reflected in God's character. Samson has some good words on the subject, and I think Paul is going to do a dance...which I'm part scared of and part very curious to see it. I am praying that the service would glorify God, and not either gender.
and now...to sit outside and watch the moon rise. if only I had some company...
sometimes, even with a boatful of people, loneliness still takes over. though, that's true anywhere you are, I suppose. Certainly is true at the palace.
Here onboard however, there still seems to be a guardedness...a certain lack of trust. We seem to function as separate planets...orbiting around the same thing...but still only encountering each other briefly, for short moments and then we're off again, floating in our own space. ( I was able to come up with this analogy only after discovering a book in the lounge called Physics: The Universe. Was a bit over my head, but fascinating...for a few minutes at least). Anyhow, I'd love to gain a bit more trust with all of these friends. I guess that means I'd have to trust them as well...
|if you nominate us, do we not bleed?||May 17, 6:39|
|hellloooo diary. i wasn't even going to write in here before i crashed right out here on this deck chair...but i stopped in the bar on the way over and here i am! got enough liquid courage in me to forget all about those nasty nominations...and not even think about tomorrow.
weeelll, maybe not forget really. i don't know why this round has affected me so much more than last round. maybe it's just that the second time hurts worst than the first time. you know, it's not even that i mind walking the plank that much. getting back to the palace would be nice, my own bed, my own garden, my own ten eunuchs at my beck and call. the thing is...about these nominations...no matter WHAT anyone says...people want me off. yeah yeah they just voted for me for whatever reason, i don't buy it. i'm expendable, and i don't like that. i'm really not used to people not finding favor with me! What do I have to do for these people??
do i have to wear a paper bag over my head and burlap bag jumpsuit for Paul to get over his issues and keep me on board?
do i have to flirt with samson and possibly make him think that i like him but then change my mind and act like i don't but then maybe like him again but then no, never, i just like you as a friend...?
do i have to somehow rummage in those boxes downstairs and find one of the pair of ferrets and bring him on deck so Mary and I can have a dancing ferret duo for her to like me?
what is it? what's the secret?
but NO! I will not do it. I am great at making people do what I want, but right now, i just want people to see me as I am and like me! Not Queen Esther or beautiful Esther...but just Esther...Hadassah...just me...
i won't change who I am just so i won't get nominated again and again. nominations are a reality...i just need to get used to that. and if people want me off...then fine...they can nominate me as many times as they want. This is me! TAKE it or LEAVE it...(or toss it, I guess)
i think i'll go upstairs and jump into that washbin thing for a nice, long, tearful bath...
|johnny springer and the catty queens||May 16, 7:49|
|Oh, my aching sides. I just replayed the variety show in my mind, and am shedding tears of laughter. The merriment factor on this boat increases daily.
It was actually terrifying up until we actually started. Jez and I couldn't come up with anything to save our lives, it was pathetic. The Jerry Springer idea was a leftover from yesterday, when we were trying to think of theme days for the ark. John spontaneously brought it up...and viola...we had something to do (although neither Jez and I knew we were doing it until the actual moment).
Mary's ferret dance was the primer...it had me rolling on the deck...and heckling Samson with Jez was great fun as well. Ah...she brings out the worst in me... Then Paul called us up and John turned into Jerry and there Jez and I were, sitting on the deck chairs discussing our husbands. Drop the implication that I might intimately know good ol' Ahab followed by a challenge from Jez to throw down and BOOM...a FABULOUS cat-fight explodes. Jez put up a great fight, but I still kicked her ass in the end. Ha! (I guess I still haven't fully gotten out of my Jerry Springer character.)
Poor John, trying to get in the middle...that was a lost cause. Two Queens fighting, you might as well clear out of the way....fast. Especially Queens that are known for getting our way...
The dance at the end was brilliant, as well. Leave it to John.
What will God challenge us to next? I don't know if anything could top today...
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|Oh I forgot...||May 15, 2:26|
|Yes, the more serious parts of the day...I almost forgot. Seems to me there is a fascinating conversation going on between Jez and John about royalty and the relationships they have. Jez seems to be a little distraught (well...if Jez could ever really be distraught, which is doubtful) about all of it, and I don't blame her. The past is a hard thing to be continually judged for, don't you think? Forgiveness, wiping the slate clean, those are all things that God doles out quite generously...now people on the other hand...not so much. Anyhow, I know I have a lot to be forgiven for...so I'll get first in line.
Anyhow, I'm digressing a bit. I wonder how John's theory applies to relationships between royalty. Because I know I'm becoming quite attached to Jez. She's not only the one I have most fun with, but we seem to understand each other the best, as well. I've tried with Martha and Maggie, I really have. It just ain't happening. I really hope that Jez and I can be more than just mischief makers, though...I sense a bit of a kindred spirit in that one...
So that brings me to John, as usual. I have to admit...I'm a bit confused by him. He is keeping me guessing. So, I'm an ally...but that doesn't mean friend per se...so what DOES it mean? We are different, that's clear. But it's the differences that make relationships stronger, if you can manage to accept them. His fear that comes from his past experience with kings and queens...it's valid, I'll have to be honest. The King can be quite scary. It is a risk John will have to take. However, I think that is not the greatest fear that John is feeling about our relationship. So once he figures out what is really holding him back...maybe then will we be able to move forward...
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|Are you ready to rumble?||May 15, 2:07|
|Surprisingly, it was goodbye to Neb today. I have to say that I'll miss his overuse of punctuation marks and the word Dude very much. Well, maybe a little. Actually nevermind...
I am quite saddened that we never did get that dinner in before he left. But, he obviously got the woman he wanted so all works out for the best. And it's great to see Samson a little riled up.
Jez and I were coming up with some more entertainment ideas, and I think that there is enough drama on this boat to host our own little Jerry Springer show (I've seen some shows on this television in here. Quite a hilariously horrid show. Who ARE these dreadful americans?) We'd need some chairs to throw...and also someone to be pregnant...and not know who the father is...goodness, maybe we don't have enough drama on the boat yet. We also thought of a WWF match. But where to put the ring on board...?
|Tennyson and such||May 14, 8:23|
|It's dark; I'm in the study all curled up by the fire, as usual. I love this place! But, I apologize, these entries are usually a little ethereal and wandering...
So tonight I've got my hands on some of the old Arthurian legends. I'm especially fascinated by this one queen...Guinevere. She has such a tragically wonderful story.
Married to a noble King, a mighty warrior...yet falls for one of the bravest knights in her court. Her illicit affair eventually led to the downfall of this place called Camelot and she ended up in a convent.
I like this age of chivalry...these people, they exhibit bravery that is rarely seen. And these two, they make quite a tragic pair...but what courage! if a bit misguided...
It does seem to make women out to be only beauties, waiting to be rescued. We don't want to be rescued, just fought for.
|Damn.||May 14, 3:41|
|Oh, I feel horrible. I completely slept through dinner with Neb. I was so looking forward to it, good food, good music (provided by Simon and Paul), a chat with Neb. Oh well, he obviously wasn't too broken up about it, as he grabbed another girl and got right to it. I'm puzzled as to why it wasn't Jez! I told her to fill in for me! But, maybe it was better that it was Martha. Much more time for her to continue her crusade to convert Neb. Jez and I would never be holy enough.
Everyone is asleep...that's what I get for sleeping all day I suppose. I'll have to journey down to the study and see what I can find tonight...
|could this be goodbye?||May 13, 0:18|
|Aha! I knew it...I knew i was up for nominations soon.
But none of this moaning about it and wringing our hands "why...why me?" I say...bring it! If I perish...I perish...
No more fun with Jezebel (we seriously need to get back into the Crow's Nest together...that was hilarious).
No more talks with John. My undercover friend...
No more lustful thoughts from Paul about me(now that would be a loss).
It's all in the Lord's hands now...
|Some clarity, anyone?||May 12, 19:50|
|I think there needs to be some clarifications made, at least in my own mind. Just some sort of re-affirming statements, like they tell you to make in these fascinating 12-step programs I've been reading about in the study. (I am definitely going to bring this AA handbook back for the king! I'll make one of the eunuchs slip it into his room.)
So, statement number one:
I may love to have fun and throw a little party, but that is not the extent of who I am. I can't tell you how hurtful some of the comments made on this boat have been to me. Well...not really hurtful, because I don't care ALL that much...more like really irritating. I don't think some people realize that appearances aren't everything...and that it takes a little time and effort to get to know people, you don't just open up to everyone that sits next to you on a deck chair.
This boat ride has been rife with Queen comments or jokes or labels. Don't get me wrong...I don't dislike being a queen. It has many benefits...MANY BENEFITS. But, having said that, I also didn't ASK to be a queen. A common misconception about how I got where I am is that I just strolled up to the palace and wrote my name down for the Miss Susa Beauty Contest...the winner takes the crown!
Actually, the memory went more like this...
I was alone at home, doing the normal daytime activities that a Persian Jew does (yes, actual housework, I did it too). Suddenly, the door gets busted open and soldiers stream in. Mordecai came running in after them, powerless to do anything as they grabbed me and dragged me outside, yelling something about being taken to the palace. By some miracle, Mordecai persuaded the head guard to give him just a minute to say goodbye. In those precious seconds, I had to say goodbye not only to the only family that hadn't already been taken from me, but also to my idea of a normal life, my little home, my friends that I had grown up with (although many were taken with me). I also saw the dreams for the rest of my life vanish in front of me. As I was being dragged to the palace, I never once imagined it would end with me becoming queen. Instead, I saw my dreams for a traditional marriage and family be exchanged for a life in the harem, no chance of love or marriage as I thought the Lord intended for me.
So that was really the beginning of this crown. Many other things happened in the palace, and that's a whole other story. But the fact is, I wasn't born a queen, I didn't choose to be one, but I know God had reasons for making me one, and I accepted those. It didn't mean any sacrifice on my part. I know that it is hard to believe that a queen would ever have to sacrifice anything, and I'm not ungrateful, but yes, things like love...or companionship...having fully Jewish children...these are things that banquets and wealth could never make up for.
Statement number two:
My designs for coming on this boat were never to find love. Whose were? That sounds ridiculous. But as stated before, I am married, to a king no less (who, consequently, is a bit-trigger happy). So pick-up line contests, chatting with God about the men on board, even this date with Neb, it is obviously all innocent and in good fun. Some people misinterpret it, but that's all it is. I am young, yes, beautiful, in some people's opinion, but available? sadly, no. So this dinner with Neb, while it will be great to finally feast like we're at the palace...and possible change clothes(!) it won't be anything more...unless he used some of those fabulous lines on me...
Besides, since we already established the parameters of the night, good food, privacy, good conversation...I almost wish someone else had won the contest...but, that's irrelevant. I look forward to the night, whenever it may be.
I do think that good friends are being made on this boat. I really am looking forward to spending more time with Jezebel, as my time here has been exponentially more entertaining with her on board. And even Simon seems to have turned around, and I am actually not trying to avoid him! I am astounded that his pick-up line didn't include some physical component, or some comment about his wife (like his apology did, ha!). Things get more interesting by the day...and we don't have that many days left!
Speaking of which...I should think about those nominations...
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|Least Complicated||May 12, 9:12|
|I think fear is often just lies, making us unable to stand upon Truth.
Here are a few onboard the Ark...
The fear of getting nominated and subsequently thrown off...the truth is that we're all going to walk one day (except one), now or later is slightly irrelevant.
The fear that the people on the Ark suddenly emulate the animals and pair off two-by-two...the truth is that half of us are married, the other half probably blessed with the gift of singleness, not perfect foundations for relationships.
The fear that people will misread you and not understand who you really are...the truth is people have already done it and always will (some of these "commentaries" I found in the study are quite off I've found!). I know who I am, as does the Lord Almighty, and that is really all that matters. I heard someone say once "What other people think of you is really none of your business". I agree.
What I'd like to see is more creative worship services like today...more mischievous plans put into action...more time spent getting to know people and using the precious time we have on the Ark...more playing with the animals...more talking about Jesus...
and less fear all around.
|another day, another sad shark snack||May 11, 17:51|
|Another one cast into the sea. Moses is gone.
The Ark won't be...too much different without him.
Worship today. I'm excited. It's always such a treat to watch the different people lead the services. Everyone is quite creative and it makes worshipping God a new and refreshing experience. hmmm, except for that chapel last week. That was a bit frightening. And those bench things were horribly uncomfortable. Who the heck invented those?
I'm still pondering my conversation with John yesterday. This idea about insider/outsiders of the kingdom seems to reach much farther than my little queen-dom in Susa. In reading the books in the study...I find myself intrigued by such similar issues years and years after my time. There are always insiders and outsiders...in every kingdom. What does it mean in the kingdom Jesus spoke of? What is this secret of the Kingdom...?
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|mischief and merriment||May 10, 9:16|
|I knew Jez would be the partner in mischief that I was looking for. I was sadly disappointed in Mary...and even more so in her ferret.
Today had to be one of the most entertaining days I've had since that going away party at the palace. Jez and I spent most of it praying (hmmm...two "heathens" spending more time in front of God than the more "righteous" on the boat...isn't that how it always is?)
The Lord was in a great mood today, despite the disappointing revelation of the broken ladders to the animals. I had a lot of fun in the Crow's Nest. Jez, God and I came up with a little entertainment for Sunday. The worship service itself should be pretty entertaining, what with Jez leading it and all. But after that...the real fun begins...
What a great day...prayer, laughter, a little mischief...almost perfect.
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