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Mary Mag | Diary |
During the 40 days and 40 nights of the Ark's voyage, our 12 crew members will be recording their thoughts and feelings about their Arkmates, the tasks and crises they'll be facing, and the dreadful prospect of walking the plank before the Ark reaches Mt Ararat. For Mary Mag's Diary, read on... and click the "comments" links to add your own comments to any of her diary entries. |
| The Vote | May 14, 20:11 | In just a couple of hours, we'll hear the result of the vote and see who has to walk the plank. It could be me. At first when I heard the nominations I wasn't too bothered. I'm deeply confused by this whole ark thing, bewildered by God, and probably going to have to go sometime anyway.
As the time approaches, though, I'm beginning to get anxious. It's not so much that I'm scared to go, or can't stand the prospect of staying, but not knowing is driving me crazy. I've made arrangements for John to look after Houdini the ferret - Samson suggested him since he likes nature and hasn't been nominated yet. I've gone downstairs and fed Vernon the unicorn a great big bowl of fruit salad. I've re-written my gospel and placed it in a carefully marked envelope that someone is bound to find. Now there's nothing left to do but pace.
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| Why why why why why??? | May 11, 23:53 | Ever since Jesus got me sorted out, I've always trusted in God. I've always trusted that even if we didn't get what was going on, at least God had it all together. He may not be especially forthcoming about the answers, but at least I figure he has his plan. I still believe that, but lately it's been hard.
A lot of the things that have happened lately seem so trivial and silly to me. They don't feel like the sort of things that I would expect from God. I mean, emptying the swimming pool for a day because Jezebel wouldn't be quiet in church and Neb kept calling him 'Dude'? And having the ark angel host a pickup-line contest? The actions just somehow don't feel very ....godlike to me.
On one hand, I feel guilty for presuming to know better than God what is and isn't godlike. That's pretty vain and stupid, right? But these awful thoughts keep creeping in. What if that voice we're hearing isn't really God? What if it's the devil pretending to be God and acting all weird to see if we'll lose our faith? Or what if it really is God and he actually doesn't have it all together? Or what if I'm just on a really bad acid trip and this is all a figment of my imagination?
And now for something completely different.
I was delighted to be able to see the animals and feed them. I've become especially fond of the unicorn, which I've named Vernon. I snuck him some cheesecake and sangria the other night, which he seemed to appreciate. I hope they're not bad for him. I also hope the other animals aren't mad at me for playing favourites. And I guess it's time to play favourites with the humans again.
I'm going to have to come up with a better rationale for voting people off, cause I don't think that God was too pleased with my last one. If that really is God... ARGH! I think I'm going to go hit my head against the wall and try to tear out my poofy golden hair now. | | 2 comments |
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