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  Joseph | Questionnaire
Bigger than Branson, fond of banquets thrown in his honour, plus a full-length mirror smuggled into the Ark... it could only be Joseph, the Bible's biggest primadonna. Here's his Ark questionnaire.
Full name:

Like to be known as:


What are three essential aspects of your perfect day?
Choir of adorable children waking me up, a few select friends to shop with, and a banquet in my honour in the evening.

What are your favorite topics of conversation?
Me, dreams, fashion.

What books would you bring into the Ark?
"How to Win Friends and Influence People", Richard Branson's autobiography (he's a rags-to-riches man, like myself, though I am much more successful), and the latest Jilly Cooper novel for some light entertainment.

How about music?
"Oh Lord, It's Hard to Be Humble", a capella gospel songs, and of course my own album – "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat".

What extra items are you trying to smuggle into your Ark suitcase?
Photos of my family (they're all really proud of me, and they are so important to me), my own silverware, a full length mirror.

What are your best qualities?
Fantastic dress sense, sheer charisma, complete loyalty to my boss.

And your worst habits?
I sometimes sulk when everything goes wrong; I hog the bathroom a bit; I sometimes lie to get my own way.

List your favorite books in the Bible.
Genesis, Psalms, Proverbs.

Share with us your top tips for living.
Stay cool in all circumstances; friendly interest and enthusiasm open doors; never tell all you know at once.

And finally – which do you prefer: cats or dogs?

The Ark © 2003
*Samson not drawn to scale