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   Neb planked, narrowly avoids hairy situation
Neb and Sam

Day 24

Although Neb got voted off by the arkmates and the public, he can breathe a sigh of relief, because leaving the Ark puts some distance between him and Samson.

The hirsute judge confronted Neb in the study shortly before the result of the plank vote was declared, and made it clear that he was not happy at all with the Mesopotamian megalomaniac's dinner with Martha last night.

Samson began with the vaguely-threatening-but-allegorical approach to begin with.

"Once upon a time," began the biblical strongman, with a sinister edge to his voice, "there was a... gardener. Call him George. He had these big ol' hangy garden things. Filled with hibisci and rhododendrons and marigolds and tulips and ivy and roses and daisies and whatever the else you've got in yer bloody gardens... He had soo many beautiful plants he'd not even gotten around to... potting them all. Over the border of his gardens there was this other dude... a good guy as well, although EVERY PLANT HE'D EVER TOUCHED HAD DIED HORRIBLY... So, anyway, ol' George took a casual fancy to a beautiful... violet? rose?"

Complicating matters somewhat, Martha entered the study before Samson could finish. Martha, perceptive as ever, noticed Samson's mood: "Methinks you sound a bit snippy, Samson dear," she observed.

Samson continued his story (along the lines of the bloke-with-loads-of-sheep-stealing-poor-man's- one-and-only-lamb story... only with flowers and pots).

Neb was unimpressed: "I think you need to talk to a therapist about this anger you're feeling," he suggested. Martha was even more unimpressed: "This jealousy of yours is insulting. So what if I run off with Neb and become his 354th wife?"

Wile Samson and Martha were arguing the toss, Neb made his escape. Before Samson could catch him, the announcement that Neb was to walk the plank was made – at which point Samson realised his error and made an apology.

But what would have happened if Neb wasn't planked? Will Samson's jealousy rear its ugly head again? Will Martha be able to convince the hirsute one that maybe she's not his property? Stay tuned.

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*Samson not drawn to scale