Pre-launch, we went out into the wilderness in search of the Baptist, but he was away on a special health farm where they serve locusts and dead bees in the muesli. His response to the Ark questionnaire will be here shortly.
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Full name:
John the Baptist, son of Elizabeth and Zechariah, cousin of Jesus.
Like to be known as:
John; the Baptist; Locust (if its covert); Honey (if you want something).
Age:
30ish.
What are three essential aspects of your perfect day?
Preparing for a wash, preparing the next peaceful direct action campaign,
preparing locusts.
What are your favorite topics of conversation?
New recipes for my 'Half-Naked Chef' recipe book, new insults for half-baked
political and religious leaders, new activities for when I'm going half-crazy in prison.
What books would you bring into the Ark?
A.A. Milne's Winnie the Pooh / House at Pooh Corner – Pooh isn't a contemporary but
does love honey; Nelson Mandela's The Long Road to Freedom – themes of liberation
and confinement; Michael Moore's Stupid White Men – only imperialist idiots shoot the messenger.
How about music?
Ev'ry Valley: Handel's Messiah – well said! Climb Every Mountain: Sound of Music (I wish
I'd had Maria Von Trapp as one of my disciples); Every Day is a Winding Road: Sheryl Crow –
anarchy, Easter, intellectualism... yep, that covers all the bases.
What extra items are you trying to smuggle into your Ark suitcase?
Dried locusts, olive oil and wild honey; oiled camel skins for wet weather up top;
manuscript for my 'Half-Naked Chef' recipe book
What are your best qualities?
Excellent at water sports and survival skills; eco-friendly and politically active;
entertaining for a crowd.
And your worst habits?
Arguing with the authorities; aggravating rulers; absolutely saturating the willing.
List your favorite books in the Bible.
Esther and Ruth, love both these books for all the right reasons.
Share with us your top tips for living.
Keep your head in all situations.
And finally – which do you prefer: cats or dogs?
Cats.
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