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   Is there a Canaanite Deity in the toilet?
Outside the toilet

Day 11

The Ark's out-of-order sanitation facilities have had a strange draw ever since the beginning, but it has only been last night that an explanation for the Power of the Bog has been put forward: There's a supernatural agency in the loo.

John the Baptist positioned himself outside the boarded-up lavatory last night and started listening. When asked by Jezebel and Moses what on earth he was doing, the prophet gave the arkmates a terse warning: "Are you ready for this? If you feel nervous, leave."

When the others stayed and continued to ask why, John revealed the disturbing truth: "I tried to get into the secret room. I can hear noises from in here. Strange noises."

Despite Jezebel's assurances that he was talking nonsense, John persisted, saying that it sounded like "a storm brewing... a bit thunderous in there. COULD IT BE BAAL... GONE TO THE BATHROOM?"

Jezebel was not impressed. "Prophets," she sighed. "All the same. Crackpots."

When John pointed at her, saying "Where is your God?" Jezebel decided she'd had enough and left. With Jezebel out of the room, the prophet revealed that this was all just to wind up Jezebel. "I was following the spirit of Elijah. Thought it might make the point. He suggested the same."

Paul added this helpful insight: "After all, he got lifted into heaven, and she was Purina Dog Chow in the end."

Did Jezebel get the point? Well, her response, far from the intended, seemed to be of amused contempt. In her diary she writes: "I really thought he was going to be a source of contention. Too bad – I was looking forward to torturing him."

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