In possibly the most shocking development yet, no less than four of the arkmates have been nominated to walk the plank. Neb received four votes, while Esther, Mary Magdalene and Samson each received three.
Esther and Jezebel both nominated both Samson and Martha. Jezebel said it was "to aid the continuing saga of a lovelorn duo that were never meant to be, and because even the worst soaps have to end sometime."
Maggie, on the other hand, nominated Samson beacuse he "still seems to be stressing way to much."
Paul voted for Neb because he "can't do a thing with him," while John the Baptist named the Mesopotamian Megalomaniac because "he's in denial."
Maggie received votes because, according to John, "all that ferreting about is best done in private". Meanwhile, Neb simply admitted that "we've never really clicked."
The most controversial reasons for the vote are surely those given for Esther. In a surprise move, Paul suggested Esther for the Plank because of his crush on her: "I'm, uh, too sorely tempted. Obsessed, even." Anyone who has seen Paul's behaviour around Esther over the last two nights would surely disagree. Ironically, Samson only voted for Esther because he thought no one else would.
When God made the announcement, there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth. Samson: "Why not just let the T-rex eat us, Lord?" he said.
Who will be plucked from the depths? Who will be cast into the outer darkness? You decide. The vote is now live.
